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Vivian O'Dell | USLHC | USA

View Blog | Read Bio

Brains Not Included

2:15-hour skit for evening of 2009/02/06:

Sue Ann: Computer doesn’t have network support, problem is telephony service will not load without Blue Screen of Death.

MSTech: How are you today?

Sue Ann: Extremely frustrated.

MSTech: I am sorry to hear that.

—-[ Note to reader: Sue Ann does not need comforting, she needs a functional computer. ]—-
MSTech: Are you connecting from the machine that has the problem?

Sue Ann: That machine has no network.

MSTech: Please reinstall the display driver.

Sue Ann: Problem is telephony service. Display driver is working fine. Reinstalled anyway. Still crashing.

MSTech: Did you reinstall the display driver?

Sue Ann: Yes. It did not fix the telephony service.

MSTech: Please run this diagnostic tool and click on “send the result to M***”.

Sue Ann: That computer has no network. Your website to upload the file manually from another computer is broken.

MSTech: You just need to click on “send the result to Microsoft”.

Sue Ann: #*!&%$@##%

Synopsis: Sue Ann eradicated W*** from coffee table. Sue Ann installed U*** beta. There exists at least speculation that beta is more stable than the W*** product.

Moral: This may be why high energy physicists are often their own system admins.

p.s. I do still (or perhaps more so now) retain the greatest respect for the gurus who administer these huge computing farms and grids that are the backbone of modern experimental physics.