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Seth Zenz | Imperial College London | UK

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The Particle that Time Forgot

Here is some official CERN news:

The news is historic, or rather “prehistoric” to be more precise! It has taken two physicists studying the collisions at 7 TeV in the centre of mass on 30 March only two days to make an astonishing discovery. From their precise analysis of four events, Alain Grand and Ricarda Owen have found evidence of a new, massive neutral particle thought to have existed in the very early Universe. “It’s awful”, explains Alain Grand, still shocked by the discovery. “It left horrible tracks inside the detector that made the physicists on duty at the time feel quite sick”. No wonder. The particle consists of two strange quarks and one top quark but no beauty or charm quark. The physicists have nicknamed it the “neutrinosaurus” because of its repulsive appearance and prehistoric origins.

Hints of the new particle had already been glimpsed in two events at Fermilab but the statistics were too low to be published. The four events observed at the LHC generated an exponential increase (22=4) in the statistics, allowing the physicists to announce the discovery unequivocally.

It is horrible, yes, but fortunately we have emergency instructions for this sort of eventuality.

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